5 stages of drunkenness

Stage 3 - RICH  

This is when you suddenly become the richest person in the  

world. You can buy drinks for the entire bar because you  

have an armored truck full of money parked behind the bar.  

You can also make bets at this stage, because of course,  

you are still SMART, so naturally you win all your bets. It  

doesn’t matter how much you bet ’cause you are RICH. You  

will also buy drinks for everyone that you fancy, because  

now you are the BEST LOOKING person in the world.  



Stage 4 - BULLET PROOF  

You are now ready to pick fights with anyone and everyone  

especially those with whom you have been betting or arguing.  

This is because nothing can hurt you. At this point you can  

also go up to the partners of the people who you fancy and  

challenge to a battle of wits or money. You have no fear of  

losing this battle because you are SMART, you are RICH and  

hell, you’re BETTER LOOKING than they are anyway!  



Stage 5 - INVISIBLE  

This is the Final Stage of Drunkenness. At this point you  

can do anything because NO ONE CAN SEE YOU. You dance on a  

table to impress the people who you fancy because the rest  

of the people in the room cannot see you. You are also  

invisible to the person who wants to fight you. You can  

walk through the street singing at the top of your lungs  

because no one can see or hear you and because you’re still  

SMART you know all the words.